by Reni Parker
10/14/09
Adults can help children grieve by:
*Listening to their story. The child's voice needs to be heard.
*Keeping to the regular schedule so children feel safe and comforted
*Using correct words ("Your father has died.")
*Encouraging the children to talk and ask questions
*Answering what they want to know in language they understand
*Explaining that their feelings are okay
*Being there for the children when they want to tell you how they feel
*Telling children that it's not their fault their loved one died
*Hugging the children
*Explaining what the children will see at the funeral
*Allowing involvement in the funeral to the extent they feel comfortable
*Encouraging ways to express feelings through writing, art work, sports
*Keeping a photo close by of the loved one
*Accepting and normalizing children's feelings
*Encouraging collecting keepsakes and photos
*Helping to make memory books, memory boxes
*Being supportive
*Being available physically and mentally
*Being understanding
*Letting the teacher and school counselor know what has happened
*Monitoring your child's responses and behavior
*Checking out any concerns with a mental health professional
Books to help grieving children:
1. Lifetimes by Bryan Mellonie and Robert Ingpen
2. Nana Upstairs and Nana Downstairs by Tomie dePaola
3. Children Also Grieve by Linda Goldman
4. Love You Forever by Robert Munsch
5. Goodbye Mousie by Robert H. Harris
6. My Life Changed, A Journal for Coping with Loss and Grief by Free Spirit Publishing
7. The Fall of Freddie the Leaf by Leo Buscaglia
A book for adults: The Grieving Child, A Parent's Guide by Helen Fitzgerald
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